When Art Falls Read online

  When Art Falls: Living in Cin

  A Toxic Interracial Love Story

  LORRAIN ALLEN

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Author’s Note

  Soundtrack

  Description

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Epilogue

  Thank you for Reading

  About the Author

  Stay Connected

  Other Books

  Copyright © 2020 by Lorrain Allen

  Published by Lorrain Allen

  All rights reserved

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.

  This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places, and incidents either are a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  The author acknowledges all song titles, song lyrics, film titles, film characters, trademarked statuses, and brands mentioned in this book are the property of, and belong to, their respective owners. The publication/use of these trademarks are not authorized/associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  Lorrain Allen is in no way affiliated with any of the brands, songs, musicians or artists mentioned in this book.

  Edited by: Emily Hainsworth

  http://www.emilyhainsworth.com

  Proofread by: Maggie Kern

  https://www.facebook.com/Ms.Kedits

  Proofread by: Novel Nurse Editing

  https://NovelNurseEditing.com/

  Formatted by: Brenda Wright

  Formatting Done Wright

  Cover design by: Dez Purington

  http://prettyininkcreations.com/

  Author’s Note

  This book contains several triggers and is only for true dark romance lovers. Arthur is not the hero—he’s the anti-hero. Recommended reading age is eighteen+ due to mature content, explicit sexual scenes, and graphic language. Read at your own risk.

  Listen now

  When We — Tank

  When We Remix — Tank featuring Trey Songz & Ty Dolla Sign

  Hurts Too Good — Ruelle

  War Of Hearts — Ruelle

  Never Be The Same — Camila Cabello

  Bad Things — Machine Gun Kelly & Camila Cabello

  Set Fire To The Rain — Adele

  The Heart Wants What It Wants — Selena Gomez

  Desire — Meg Myers

  Flesh — Simon Curtis

  Going Under — Evanescence

  We Found Love — Rihanna featuring Calvin Harris

  I gave her my heart, but she broke it, so now I’ll give her my rage.

  I never considered the possibility of us crossing paths again.

  When our gazes connect, an internal switch clicks on.

  The last words she spoke to me whisper through my mind like a mantra, causing the sleeping beast to come roaring to life with a taste for her blood.

  I need her to bend to my will, so I make her an offer she can’t refuse.

  Once my desire has been fed, I’ll toss her away like a piece of garbage right after I destroy her, reducing her to nothingness.

  She’ll regret the day she dared to betray me.

  Her debt must be repaid in pain, and I will not rest until I have my pound of flesh.

  Karma is a bitch that has finally come for her, and it’s hungry for retribution.

  “Where are you going?”

  I look over and see the old man approaching as I climb on my motorcycle. “I’ll meet you in Boston.”

  “You shouldn’t drive in your current state.”

  I rev the engine before speeding off.

  You should’ve died the day you slit your wrists.

  Those words echo in my mind nonstop. The first person I gave my heart to and trusted implicitly destroyed the bright future I saw looming ahead of me, but damn if I don’t still want her.

  You pussy-whipped moron.

  I’m a fucking idiot for putting so much faith in a girl who wasn’t loyal to her boyfriend. I gave her the power to mortally wound me. Damn her to hell for making me believe in something I thought would forever be out of my reach. I’ll have my revenge against her if it’s the last thing I do. I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll finally relent and follow in the old man’s footsteps, becoming the emotionless narcissistic robot he always wanted to mold me into without allowing him complete dominance over me. He’ll know who’s really in charge. I’ll succeed where my father failed. As for the opposite sex, they’ll only be used to sate my carnal needs, then be discarded like trash.

  Lightning cracks across the sky, matching my turbulent mood. I travel down the road, oblivious to my surroundings. The heavy rain comes next, completely soaking me. I have a fucking death wish, so instead of slowing down like any sane person would, I press on the throttle until I hit maximum speed. I refuse to pull over if the sheriff or Deputy These Nuts gives chase. I’m a fucked-up rich white boy with a chip on my shoulder, mad at the damn world. Today the beast is born. Art no longer exists. I learned the hard way that nothing good can ever come from living a life of “Cin.”

  Eight years later

  I stand in the doorway of my new apartment, catching my breath. I’m exhausted from lugging boxes up six flights of stairs for the last hour. The building itself has ten floors. I would have preferred an apartment on the first level, but no vacancies were available. Not one elevator in the building is operational, but I was assured by the property manager that repairs would be happening very soon. At least I don’t live on the top floor. Boy, do I feel sorry for the people who do. The outdated high-rise looks as if it should be scheduled for demolition. I lucked out and was able to rent one of the last subsidized apartments available, so I am grateful because there’s no way I could afford market rent. The one-bedroom apartment with a den is small, but it fits my budget. Sebastian and I will share the bedroom while my mom uses the den as hers. I plan to save money so Mom can start seeing specialists again. Trying to accomplish that while paying off student loans and monthly bills will be hard. To top it off, I need a new car.

  “Move it, old woman.” Anneli knees me in the butt. “These boxes are heavy.”

  I step to the side. “Watch it, asshole.”

  “Mommy said a bad word!” Sebastian jumps up and down.

  Anneli covers h
er mouth in mock horror. “Sebastian, go tell your grandmother your mom said a bad word.”

  “Grandma!” He races from the apartment before I can stop him.

  “Not only are you an asshole, you’re a bitch too.”

  “Is that any way to speak to your best friend who’s spending her first Saturday off in weeks helping you settle in?” She places a box on the kitchen counter.

  Anneli is always there for me. After the debacle, my popularity vanished overnight and I became a pariah. She remained my best friend, despite being bullied for it. I practically lived at her house. Being terrorized every damn day took a toll on me, but I refused to drop out of school. I stopped eating, sleeping, and even quit the track team. Trevor made sure everyone knew I was a cheating slut, and Josh, a jealous prick. Needless to say, their friendship ended after Art spilled the beans. There was no more Chaos and our little group disbanded, taking sides. I chose not to attend prom or graduation. My mind wanders to those last dark months in North Carolina on occasion, though I try to keep it from straying there. Mom and I left on the last day of school. We went back to Phoenix and never looked back. Anneli and I kept in touch after she moved to Florida in pursuit of a nursing degree. We visited each other a few times over the years, but not for a long time.

  “Cin, are you listening to me?”

  “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

  “I know what that blank stare means.”

  She knows all too well.

  “You went back there again.”

  “Yeah.” I walk over to the sofa to sit down.

  Anneli joins me. “You have to forgive yourself.”

  “I ruined so many lives that day because of my selfishness.”

  The impact from the boot Trevor threw ruptured my mom’s left eye, causing her to lose sight. She sports a glass eye or sometimes wears a patch. She has severe migraines several times a week that prevent her from functioning, and maintaining employment. Doctors are baffled, unable to provide a diagnosis, and labeled her condition a medical mystery. But my mom’s not the only one who suffered that night because of me. Josh lost his scholarship and dream of becoming a professional football player. His fall over the banister crushed the tibia and fibula in his lower right leg. Josh had emergency surgery the next day. Doctors put a titanium rod in his tibia, with four screws just below his kneecap and right above his ankle. I don’t know who hated me more—Art, Trevor, or Josh. Ricky and my mom’s engagement ended over the incident. I’ll never forgive myself for ruining her chance at happiness. They both agreed it was better if they no longer worked together. He was generous enough to give Mom a severance package of two months’ salary. Of course, that wasn’t enough to sustain us, so we had no other choice but to move in with Aunt Katrina. When Mom’s health insurance ended, the doctor visits stopped and she could no longer see the specialists to find an answer regarding her migraines. She forgave me instantly and has never shown the tiniest bit of resentment.

  “I’m not in the mood to have this conversation again.”

  “Well, that’s too damn bad.”

  “I’m tired. It’s been a really long day.”

  We stayed the night at Anneli’s after arriving in Orlando yesterday evening. I drove the moving truck while Mom drove my beat-up old car from Phoenix. I’m honestly surprised it withstood the journey. I thought it would be fun for Sebastian to experience his first road trip, and I wanted one last hurrah before we started the next chapter in our lives. We checked into a few dingy motels and did some sightseeing along the way. The thirty-plus–hour drive was exhausting, but the memories we created are priceless. My mind wanders back to another road trip with a haunted green-eyed boy. The car I had at the time was a piece of shit too.

  Art and Josh have been featured on tabloid news shows and magazine covers, being two of America’s youngest billionaires. I’m assuming they forgave each other and joined their grandfather in expanding the Falcon hotel chain, where only the rich and famous can afford to stay. Art was out of control, arrested several times for drug possession, DUIs, disorderly conduct, and a host of other charges, but for the last few years he’s remained out of the limelight. I hope he’s doing a lot better. I’m still devastated he thinks I betrayed him. I have no idea who told his secret, but it sure as hell wasn’t me.

  “You’re coming out with me tonight.”

  “I absolutely will not.”

  “When are you going to free yourself from this self-induced prison?”

  Never

  “When was the last time you had sex?”

  Three years ago. “Last month.”

  “Liar.”

  “I’m not lying,” I sputter.

  “With whom?”

  “Some random guy I met at a bar. It was a one-off.”

  Anneli snorts. “You expect me to believe you?”

  “Why would I lie?”

  “Well, you never mentioned it during any of our weekly calls.”

  “It slipped my mind.”

  “Ha!”

  “Cinnamon!” I hear my mom yell.

  I glance towards the open door. She’s calling me by my full name, which means I’m in deep shit.

  “You started this,” I accuse.

  “Hey, you’re the one who said the bad word.”

  My mom appears in the doorway, her hands on her hips, ready to lay into me. The little tattletale peers under her arm with a self-satisfied look on his face.

  “Are you using the devil’s language in front of my grandchild?”

  I point at Anneli. “It’s her fault.”

  Mom walks over, then whacks me across the back of my head.

  “Ouch.”

  “If you use another bad word around my grandchild, I’ll wash your mouth out with soap.”

  “I’m sorry, jeez.”

  “Good. It’s nearly noon and my baby hasn’t had lunch yet.”

  “Grandma, I’m not a baby,” Sebastian protests.

  “You are absolutely right, big boy.” She grasps his cheeks, placing a kiss on his forehead.

  “Yuck!” He pulls away from her.

  She pops him on the butt. “That’s a million-dollar kiss, boy. I’m going to use the bathroom, then I’ll make you something to eat.”

  Once the door closes, I turn to Sebastian. “You know snitches get stitches, right?”

  “Grandma! Grandma!” He hightails it towards the bathroom.

  I look heavenwards. He always runs to his grandmother for protection.

  Anneli laughs. “Sebastian, I have a special treat for you.”

  He changes direction as quick as a whip and comes to a stop in front of Anneli, holding out his hand.

  Spoiled brat.

  “You owe me one.” She winks.

  “No, we’re even. You’re the reason I’m in this mess to begin with.”

  She hands Sebastian a candy bar from her bag.

  “Thank you, Auntie Anneli!”

  “You’re welcome. Now beat it, kiddo.”

  Sebastian runs off with his treat.

  I lean back against the couch cushions.

  “He looks just like his dad,” Anneli says.

  “I know.”

  That’s why it pains me to look at him sometimes.

  I decided not to tell Trevor about my pregnancy while still living in North Carolina because I was afraid of his reaction. He became this person I didn’t recognize after we broke up. I waited until relocating out west before reaching out to him. Of course, he called me all types of horrible names and denied being the father, which is understandable since I wasn’t sure myself. I thought it best not to contact Art unless Trevor was proven not to be the father. But there was no doubt in my mind who Sebastian belonged to after I gave birth and looked into his bright blue eyes—the same as Trevor’s. I filed for a paternity test through family court because he refused to go on his own. I learned Trevor ended up attending college in California after all, so we were able to meet at a DNA laboratory in Los Angeles. It broke
my heart when he looked at our baby boy in disgust. Trevor was proven to be Sebastian’s father. I thought his hate for me wouldn’t prevent him from wanting a relationship with his son, but he made it clear he and his family wanted nothing to do with us. I didn’t stop him from walking away, nor did I demand he provide financial assistance for Sebastian.

  “Okay, it’s time to check out your wardrobe.” Anneli leaves the sofa.

  “Why?”

  “Because we’re hitting the streets tonight whether you want to or not.” She sashays into my bedroom.

  “Anneli,” I say on a long suffering sigh.

  “Hush. We’re going, and that’s final.”

  “You’re not the boss of me!” I yell.

  She sticks her head out the door. “I’m totally the boss of you.”

  It looks like the next chapter of my life is going to be really exciting.

  “Can you at least pretend to be excited?” Anneli asks as she maneuvers her car through traffic.

  I turn from watching the drunken tourists make spectacles of themselves to peer at her. “No.”

  Once Anneli told my mom about her plans to take me to a bar tonight, they both nagged me nonstop until I agreed to go for at least an hour.

  “If you think I’m going to let you stay cooped up in your apartment all the time, you’ve lost your mind. You live in the Sunshine State now, where all the beautiful people are.”

  “I thought California is where all the beautiful people are.”

  “All the plastic people you mean.”

  “Are you sure about that? I spotted several women whose breasts looked hard as rocks.”

  “Okay, maybe half the plastic people live here. But you, my dear, are among the beautiful, so you’re going to have to dress like it.”

  “What’s wrong with my outfit?”

  “Is that a trick question?”

  “I’m very stylish.”